Is Your Emotional Bank Account Overdrawn?
Are you drowning in debt?
Spending beyond your means? Not planning for your future?
Our relationship with money can be a metaphor for our personal relationships.
A sound financial house is built on the principal of deposits outweighing withdrawals. You can view your relationship through the same lens.
Five Deposits For Every Withdrawal
Research findings by Dr. John Gottman, show that successful relationships have 5 positive statements or responses to every 1 negative or conflictual response.
Couples that create this balance in their relationship will feel more generous when a mistake is made and be willing to overlook an irritable mood. When the emotional bank account is overdrawn the stress level is high and the tendency is slanted towards negative interpretations and assumptions.
Watch the tone and flavour of your interactions and bring them back in line with the 5:1 ratio.
The challenge is to stop the neglect and be thoughtful about the impact of every interaction. Really, it is the way that we pay attention to each other that creates interpersonal success or failure.
The Four Critical Moments In Your Day
Pay attention to how loving and caring you are during these moments. The tone will be set by the way you focus your attention.
- First 4 minutes you are both awake
- The morning “goodbye”
- First 4 minutes you are both home at the end of the day
- The evening “goodnight”
Do not overlook the importance of these moments to build the emotional bank. In times of stress you will need to make extra withdrawals so have a solid savings in your account. Plan for the “Rainy Day”.
Tags: Emotional Bank Account, Emotions, money
This entry was posted on Monday, January 24th, 2011 at 8:00 AM and is filed under Thoughts and Therapy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
