Monday, June 13th, 2011
The answer propels you on a fault-finding mission, sets you up for agony and self-doubt. The result is diminished self-esteem and confidence.
The answer…you change the question. Read more »
Monday, May 30th, 2011
This is really worth the read, particularly if you are contemplating having an affair.
The author, Wendy Plump, explores the impact of an affair from both sides, from her experiences as the cheating spouse and the betrayed lover.
According to Wendy: “You will be pulled between two poles, one of obligation and responsibility, the other of pleasure and escape, and the stress of these two opposing forces will tear you apart.”
Monday, May 2nd, 2011
Plenty of miserable couples stay together forever.
But it looks like this trend may be changing.
NY Times columnist, Tara Parker Pope, wrote a great article, The Happy Marriage is the “Me” Marriage. People are looking for partnerships that make their lives more interesting and they want to experience personal growth, which Parker Pope terms “self-expansion”.
If your partner is helping you become a better person then that deepens happiness and satisfaction.
Check out the article and learn why it is important to have novel and exciting experiences together.
Monday, April 18th, 2011
When this is your focus you know that you are locked into a power struggle, the phase that follows romantic love, the unwelcome descent into reality.
The traits that you once found charming and quirky are now annoying. Read more »
Monday, March 28th, 2011
Neuroscientists have found that after a period of 6 months to 2 years the brain stops producing these stimulating chemicals. Read more »
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
Dr. Janis Abrahams Spring in her book, After the Affair, answers “yes” to these questions…providing that each of you is willing to look honestly at yourself and your relationship, and acquire the skills you need to get yourself through this crisis. Read more »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Tracy McMillan, writer for the hit TV show Mad Men, posted an article on Huffington Post which is sure to get a reaction.
Check out, Why You’re Not Married, and see if you agree with her points.
Monday, January 17th, 2011
You took out the garbage and put down your BlackBerry but what she really wanted was a hug…that would have made the difference.
Your emotional love language and the language of your partner may be as different as French and Mandarin. Read more »
Tuesday, January 11th, 2011
Monday, January 10th, 2011
One of the clearest signs that you need outside help is a common and simple facial expression: The Eye Roll.
It is a sign that you no longer value your partner. Read more »
Monday, January 3rd, 2011
Couples often come to counselling with the mistaken notion that if the therapist changes the other person then magically all the problems will disappear.
A shift from right and wrong to an understanding of how relationships are co-created is what IMAGO Relationship Therapy is all about.
Here is what the process of change often looks like. Read more »
Monday, December 27th, 2010
So which will get you to a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner? I know, that question is a set up, the answer is obvious. And the answer is always the harder route. Read more »
Monday, December 13th, 2010
IMAGO Therapist and innovator Hedy Schleifer was invited to give a prestigious TED Talk on the Power of Connection.
If you want deeper insight into IMAGO Couples Dialogue, this is for you.
Check out the video after the jump:
Monday, December 6th, 2010
You can hear and feel the difference between “I need you to pick up your socks” and “You are so #@!! lazy”.
One version is load and shoot and the other is artful diplomacy. The art of speaking so other people listen can be dependent on the change of just one little word.
It is amazing how the choice of a particular word can turn a receptive partner into a defensive, antagonized person. Read more »
Monday, November 22nd, 2010
When it comes to love, things are not always what they seem.
Why is it that you block the love your partner is trying to give you? You say you want to feel close and be loved, but you behave in a way that guarantees you will not feel loved? Read more »
Monday, November 15th, 2010
There are a number of behaviours that you can change which will have an instant impact on your relationship.
What do a few of the top researchers and clinicians say about what transforms a relationship from painful and confusing to connected and secure? Read more »
Monday, November 8th, 2010
Apology is an art form, one which can be learned. There are some fundamental ingredients which form the basis of a genuine, non-defensive, responsible apology. Read more »
Monday, November 1st, 2010
Before beginning my training as an IMAGO Relationship Therapist I would hear this from my couples.
Couples would leave the sessions with insight about their relationship dynamic, ideas about what to do differently but feeling ill equipped to change their behaviour in a tense moment.
I practiced traditional couples therapy for well over a decade before beginning my training in Imago Relationship Therapy. The differences in outcome for couples has been amazing! Couples are given new skills, new ways of listening and relating.
What does the term IMAGO mean? What is IMAGO Relationship Therapy? Here is the Coles Notes version… Read more »
Monday, October 25th, 2010
They provide an immediate surge of energy and a numbing of pain – a feeling of personal power, which is a cover for underlying feelings of helplessness and inadequacy.
The upside of any amphetamine is that you get the powerful surge of confidence, but it is followed by an equally powerful crash. You drop down even lower than where you started. Read more »
Monday, October 18th, 2010
It does not come in titanic waves, it is the small steady current that determines where the stream flows.
A full relationship recovery is a quieter process. Relationships require a steady investment of time and emotional energy. Read more »
