Remove The Thorns From Your Heart

Resentment and anger have amphetaminic effects.

They provide an immediate surge of energy and a numbing of pain – a feeling of personal power, which is a cover for underlying feelings of helplessness and inadequacy.

The upside of any amphetamine is that you get the powerful surge of confidence, but it is followed by an equally powerful crash. You drop down even lower than where you started.

After your anger and resentment go away, your energy is lower, you have more self-doubt and you are likely depressed.

Your brain begins to look for things to get resentful about to try and stop the feeling of depression. So to avoid feeling depressed, you will have to be resentful most of the time.

Many couples have a one way ticket to ride on this joyless roller coaster.

It is impossible to feel lovable when you feel resentful and it is hard to treat others lovingly.

Lingering anger and resentment present a great risk to your health, because our bodies weren’t built to withstand the long term chemical effects that these emotions have on our immune and central nervous systems.

Long-standing resentment, anger and hostility raise your blood pressure, damage the blood vessels in your heart and brain, constrict your muscles and cause chronic pain. The health effects are many and severe.

If you are in a “walking on eggshells” relationship, you have no doubt developed a strong pattern of resentment and anger. That is understandable and certainly not your fault. You have every right to be resentful and angry. You have every right to express your anger and resentment. You have every right to stay with your anger and resentment for as long as you need to.

Unhealthy anger lasts longer than a few minutes and long-lasting anger hurts you more than getting angry a lot or even getting intensely angry.

The real culprit is resentment, which as you well know can go on for months and years.

Bottom line, although it may seem unfair, you must chose between chronic resentment and anger on the one hand, and healing on the other, you cannot do both.

Tags: Anger, Relationship, Resentment

This entry was posted on Monday, October 25th, 2010 at 8:00 AM and is filed under IMAGO and Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.